Beauty Bands

When I was 15, I constantly wondered what other people were thinking of me.  I was in the 10th grade, traipsing the halls of my High School, insecure, fixing my hair, hanging out with my tight group of friends, slipping notes into my friends' lockers and barely concerned about turning a page in my Geometry book.  At home, I would spend my time planning an outfit for the next day and in the morning I would meticulously spend time with a curling iron, carefully placing each strand of curled hair down to look...perfect.
At 25, I was out-of-college with a degree in hand on the wall and living with 3 girlfriends and a very large cat affectionately know as "Brutus".  I was actually working at a job I loved, staying up late, almost every night and yapping with friends about the "plight" of singlehood.  At that time, I was on this crazy-fad workout regime, getting up at 6AM most days, working out six-days-a-week.  I was eating eggwhite scrambled eggs with peppers and onions almost every morning and feeling like I was in the best shape of my life.  But I was still struggling with what stared back at me in the mirror.
A few Eleven years, one Hubs, five dwellings, three kiddos, stretchmarks a few beauty bands, one 10K, one 5K and two dark circles under my eyes later, I'm still not satisfied with what I see.  This week Hubs and I started training for our April 2 - 10K.  It's the same one I've run before.  The race is flat (Thank God!), it's good fun with bands playing along the way and crazy people dressed in outfits like the dude that was dressed like Indiana Jones carrying a boulder behind him the last time I ran.  When we trained for that first race, every time we would go out to the 4-mile-trail with Special K and little G in the jogging stroller, I would look at Hubs and say, "I can't do this.  I'm not a runner."  He'd look back at me and say, "Yes you can.  I'm doing this with you."  "Easy for you to say", I'd say under my breath.  At the time, even after 17-20 hour labor and deliveries of 2 little babies, I felt little confidence in pounding the pavement.  What was I doing this for?
What I have realized over the years is that people love to torture their bodies I do better having specific goals placed before me rather than saying, "Oh, that muffin top has go to go.  I need to lose 5,10, 20lbs."  What stares back at me in the mirror is a wrong perception.  God did not make a mistake.  I say that I believe God in and through all things.  Welp, He says He made me in His image.  He also says that we should take care of our bodies, we shouldn't be gluttons and we are able.  
So, this week, I have done three Insanity workouts.  Today, my calves and triceps feel like someone is pelting snowballs at them, everytime I walk.  Nice, huh?  I am eating well and have a sweet here and there but I am thankful to not be obsessed.  I am thankful that God has brought me to a place where I can see most things in moderation.  If I do anything obsessively, something or someone gets cheated.
This morning I woke up and said, "Babe, I am not working out today.  I've got an old body."  He laughs but I know that this is a good place to be.  If you see me on the Parkway, keeled over on the side of the road waving you down to drive me home, please do me a favor and keep driving (unless you see me down for the count!).  I'll make it.  See you at the race.

Where Have I Been?

Where have you been, you ask?  The whole month of January went out like a blur but it also seemed to take forever to get to February!  Do you ever feel like that?  The beginning of 2011 was filled with bad weather closing school and 'not-so-much-bad-weather-but-they-decide-to-close-the-whole-county-down' days.  It was Hubs being out-of-town for 5 days and craziness in our home.  January was celebrating my sweet little girl's 4 years in this world.  It was also looking forward to time for a Girls' Weekend to Florida with girlfriends that I am humbled and proud to know.  

January was also a month of kids tossing their cookies and hoping and praying that the next person would be spared from the travesty of it all.  I left for the Girls' Weekend with little G sick then to find out that Special K came home early that Friday with the same bug.  I spent the weekend with a fever and chills.  We still managed to have a great time catching up, laughing and crying together.

I'm sitting here, writhing in pain from the torture of a Shaun T workout.  If you don't know who he is, check out the Insanity DVDs.  The name explains it all.  The torture is to get ready for a 10K that Hubs and I are running in April.  We've done this one before.  Hubs ran it twice.  I managed to be preggers for the second one Hub's ran not knowing baby #3 was in the belly when we both signed up.  It is awesome to have goals here and there.  But sometimes getting there is some serious work, pain, effort and in the end, triumph.  I'll give you check-in's to let you know where I'm at.  

My mind is swimming with the details of life.  If you can imagine that I would love to just have a day with no one in the house...just me, some music and a scrub brush to clean the house from top to bottom.  Yeah, I'm living life on the edge!  I've got my planner open, books on the table and amazingly, a quiet house with Hubs at work, 2/3 kiddos did not have school for "impending weather" and one little that repeated "Ni-night?  Ni-night?" with his thumb in his mouth after lunch.  *Smile*

Life is hard and I always feel like I'm playing catch-up or catching nothing at all.  The daily grind, little people circling around me like hawks for their prey (in love people, in love!), the dishes mounting in the sink, the laundry spilling over from the basket and precious peeps in our lives that are really sick.  Yet my heart has been reminded, literally every moment, for the last 4 weeks that:  "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, "the LORD is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him."  Lamentations 3:22-24

I have been hanging onto the promise that I don't have to be consumed by anything.  The LORD is compassionate and He is my portion in this life.  He is faithful, just and gives the peace that surpasses my puny little mind.  Thanks God, that I can live this life abundantly here on this earth but also look forward to a forever life with you.  I'm just praying I make every moment you give, count.  

January in Pictures

Blowing bubbles at the Beach

Laughter in between stop lights 

Little G having a lunch date with Mama

Date Morning with Special K

Lovin from the Hubs

Mommy-Guilt meets R&R

I'm leaving...on a jet plane.  And in this case, I know when I'll be back, again.


Tomorrow morning, I leave for Florida to meet up with 6 girlfriends for a weekend getaway!  I have not gotten away by myself and gone so far and for this long except for an annual Women's weekend retreat every Spring for the last several years.  I'll meet a friend at the airport and then all 7 of us will meet in Florida.  WOOT!
Naturally, as I've been looking forward to this weekend for months, last night, our little girl kept waking up, crying her eyes out.  Early this morning, she has a fever and I was scheduled to take her to her yearly well-visit.  Yeah, not so well.  Poor thing was floppy, extra cranky and bleary-eyed.  They cancelled her vaccinations because of a slight fever.  I asked Dr. B if, with this flu, if she would vomit or 'the other thing' (C'mon people, this is a family-friendly blog).  She says, "No, she will have a fever, some aches and chills.  Just make sure to give her plenty of fluids and we'll give you a prescription."  So, as we were waiting for her to come back, I hear the dreaded, "Hwah, hwah."  Yup, she sure did vomit all over the examining table.  Sweet little girl was so taken aback and upset.  
I also got a prescrip for the littlest-little, as a precaution.  I asked, just to be certain that it was O.K. for me to still travel.  She said of course and that I just need to wash my hands well and often.  (Not that anyone has EVER called me a germ-phobe, or anything!)  
For a split-second, I was thinking of the irony of Noodle to get sick before I left.  Then, that was overcome with the reality that this is life, not irony.  It's January, peeps get sick, whether I'm going on a trip or not.  Of course I'm praying that the rest of my family stays well and that I don't start tossing cookies while I'm gone.  Hubs told me there was not a chance that I would cancel this the trip!  Thank God for a good, loving and understanding man.  He will hold down the fort and take care of the kiddos.  
I felt a little bit of that 'Mom-guilt' about leaving before the girlie got sick but now it's settling in, quite nicely.  But I know that I need this trip, as much for my family, as for me.  I want to be better for them.  I'd like to get some R&R to come back refreshed for this crazy-amazing family that I have.  
The girlfriends I'll be chatting into the wee-small hours with, sipping wine with, enjoying delicious meals with, are full of joy and Spirit.  I'm so thankful that I have friends in my life that encourage, support and would rally if need be.  I need this - you need this - in your life.  I love that space and time have not taken away from us being able to speak life into each other.  I love that I can look forward to this time to laugh, cry because we're laughing so hard and to enjoy each other's company.  And let's face it.  I get to have adult conversation for a whopping 60+ hours, give or take a few for catching some Zzzzzz's.
So Florida, here we come!  Put out some sunshine and warm breezes for us.  And loves of my life, my heart is never so far away.  We girls will be driving around the Sunshine state in a rented minivan, just to remind me where my heart will always be.

On Becoming a Gentleman

"Mom, can we go on a date?  When are we going on our date?"  This is what I hear for months-on-end after we come back from our Annual Family Beach Trip.  So today, on a day off from school, Special K and I went out to have breakfast.
I came down the stairs and found him brushing his hair with one of those baby hairbrushes.  I have no idea where he found it.  I laughed so hard because it was like he was getting ready for me.  He was already dressed and really excited to get out of the house.  
We got to our destination and he opened and held the door for me.  I asked him if he wanted a muffin and chocolate milk because I know those are some of his favorites.  K found a table for us and asked if it was O.K.  We held hands and prayed.  We talked about school and what he was learning.  He looked out at the cars in the parking lot and asked what license plates were.  On and on until we were done.  We laughed and smiled at each other.  These times seem few and far between these days and I know we need to make more time for this.
As we were leaving, I asked him to clear away the plate and trash and gave him specific instruction on where to put the silverware, trash and plate.  He did exactly what I told him.  He came back and I held up his coat and then asked him to hold mine up for me.  As we were walking out, he held the door open again and at the car I stopped and gave him a hug and my cheek to him to give me a kiss.  We got in the car and he says, "Mom, when can we go out again?  Can we go to McDonald's, next time?"  I chuckled because McDonald's breakfast seemed good to me when I was Six but not Thirty Six!  I told him that Daddy and I sometimes take turns planning dates and that maybe he could do that.  He asks, "McDonald's or Chick-Fil-A?"  He mentioned the playgrounds and the food.  Laughing, I told him that it's nice when you plan a date around things that the other person likes.  Special K says, "I don't know what you like!"  I started listing off things that I liked and told him to ask Daddy what might be a good idea for next time.
I felt such a joy in going on a Date-morning with Special K.  We got some time together and I see what it means to teach my boy on becoming a gentleman.  He definitely learns it from his Daddy but these moments are special between the two of us.  He is learning what it means to put the other person first, to be kind, to listen, to share, to be gentle and to know what quality time is.  
In these times, I want my boy to know what it means to care and to be a friend.  So many days are filled with directives, commands and training.  When we can go out, one-on-one and put those life lessons in motion, I am thankful that my son is getting it.  And I get to see what an amazing boy the LORD is growing him up to be.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control."  Galatians 5:22-23

These characteristics are not relative.  I know that they don't come naturally and I need to pray for this and learn them in my own life.  I want the Spirit to be growing this in me, my Hubs and our three littles.  Even if, the next time, it has to be at McDonald's.  ;)

A Pumpkin Muffin for my little man.

A coffee for Mama.
(Photographer: Special K)

Some precious time together.

What character have you been learning from someone, recently?

Three Little Birds

                      

I have been pecked alive by three little birds for the past five days.  Hubs was out-of-town for a conference and I think someone may have laced my littles' cereal with Red Dye #42.  The running monologue in my home, by yours truly was, "Holy Toledo", "Are you kidding me?", "Do you understand?" and my all-time fave, "No begging, whining or unkindness."

I hope you'll understand that this post is part-venting, part-comic relief and part- joy that Hubs is home.  Though, this week was like we were in the Twilight Zone.  I realize that we have our bad days but this was re-donk-u-lous.  Yes, I just used that term because there is no other way to describe it.  

Special K found no other way but to ask me question after question of when the next meal was, if anyone was coming over and if he could play the Wii.  Mind you, this is a daily occurrence in our house.  But these last several days were tainted with a whine that I had never witnessed in such succession.  As of last night I wanted to shoot our Wii in the middle of the console and watch it explode into a million little pieces.  

Noodle-girl fell limp on the floor in a dead-weight tantrum right before my parents left this afternoon.  They came to celebrate her birthday, which is tomorrow.  And she decided she would test me in front of them to show what a special Mommy I was.  

Littlest-little has taken signing "Please" to a whole new level.  He paces the house, banging his chest saying, "Peas (please), mo (more), mo, peas, peas, peas, peas."  His belly is a bottomless pit as he ravages anything in site.  Our plastic play food has nothing on him.

I am thrilled that Hubs is asleep, next to me in bed while I sit and write.  A complete antithesis of last night.  Twenty four hours ago, exactly, I was standing hostage in our downstairs bathroom, paralyzed in fear.  I was getting ready for bed with Hubs on the line.  All of the sudden, there were three loud bangs on our front door.  I could feel all the blood in my body rush down to my toes as I stood still.  Who the heck knocks on your door at 11:40 at night, let alone bang on it?  No Hubs, three little kiddos, me - stuck in the bathroom.  No fear, we prayed and then I made Hubs call the Non-Emergency Police line.  He told them the situation and they said they would patrol the area and call me back.  Thirty minutes later, mind you, a very nice policeman told me he was sorry to have called so late but had something else come up.  You mean to tell me that a crazed Mama feeling threatened by vicious banging on the door late at night is not warrant for arrest??  I did finally exit the bathroom after I came to my senses before I got his call.

That nice cop did tell me that he saw a couple kids riding their bikes in the neighborhood and asked them if they saw anyone.  Um, hey brilliant parents of those kids:  did you know they were riding their bikes outside in the freezing cold a little before midnight?!

What is my point to this story, you ask?  I. Don't. Know.  I just thought I might share that I am loonier than I began, at this thing called motherhood.  I am more tired tonight than I was last night, at 1AM, praying that God would protect my precious littles and hoping that the Maglite on the floor would be sufficient to fend off any crazies that wanted to break in.  And Mama is a little stronger today for being given the opportunity to be pecked-to-death by some really darn cute younglings.

Eight Days

Three days before Christmas, my family was gifted time at the beach in a phenomenal house...again.  Twice in one year from a family that blesses us beyond reason.  After our 4-city tour through VA/DC in 8 days, receiving this email was like God saying, "I know, you need some rest."
Every year, November and December are a whirlwind.  It's like a mad sprint toward the finish line of the year.  With every year-end, I say that I'm going to slow down.  But things get busier.  Maybe it's having three kiddos or maybe it has something to do with wanting to enjoy life a bit more.
During my 100 Joys Journey I ventured through, inspired by the sweet Sarah Markley, I was amazed by all the sweet joys I noticed and experienced during the month of December.  After a year filled with the transition of life from two children to three; feeling like I was sucking at being a wife and Mom; wondering how we would stretch our growing family of five in our 3-Bedroom townhome; finding all these joys tucked into a year filled with laughter and pain has admittedly been a relief.
There were times, this past year, that I felt like an utter and complete failure.  I didn't make sense to myself, let alone to all the people around me.  My heart took a flight into the pit of hell when I found my faith was flailing around like a fish-out-of-water.
I am so grateful and thankful for peeps that held me up in prayers and love.  These people prayed and encouraged me through this.  These family and friends made me laugh while I bawled my eyes out.  Some of you might not even be aware of the healing words you spoke to me throughout this past year.
Twenty-ten ended with some sheer moments of joy that showed me how God has been healing my heart.  In times when there was nothing I could do but call out His name to help me, He did.  He never let go.  He. is. not. done. with. me.  I'm still here, aren't I?
I have been wasting time wondering where certain relationships have gone and why some relationships do not exist.  What I have found is the Lord beckoning me while He has been by my side.  What I have seen is my Hubs, never giving up on me.  What I have learned is that these three sweet babies I have held since the seconds they were born make my life rich but ultimately are not for me.
I end this past year not looking back but moving forward.  I am crazy about the God who has loved and saved me from my despair.  I am crazy about my wonderful Husband who I get to do life with.  I am crazy about these three littles that make my heart grow exponentially with each day.  
Those were 8 busy days of traveling everywhere for Christmas.  We left on Christmas day for the beach and stayed 8 nights instead of seven because they told us we could stay longer at their beautiful haven of a beach house.    We got to stretch out in a house with 8 bedrooms.  Umm, I'm starting to get freaked out by the number 8.
We rested, relaxed, ate, played and enjoyed each other.  We watched a snowstorm, played in the snow and on the last day there, watched our kiddos run around, shoeless in the sand.
We felt apprehensive about leaving but we are looking forward to this New Year.  I am leaning on these verses, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23

Beautiful snow-covered sand dunes

Me & my girl

Sweet things!

Hubs & Pretty Princess checking out the starfish
during our Aquarium visit.

Special K:  Mom is that shark going to eat us??

Littlest-little digging the fishies.

NYE celebration with the kiddos and sparklers.

Dancin Girl.

Gorgeous walkway to the beach.

Getting some lovin from my littles.

Handsome Hubs and the Littlest.

Come, Let Us Adore Him

(88)
Dancing so joyfully.

(90)
Brothers and Sister:  May the tie never be broken.

(89)
"Daw, Daw."  Littlest little loves his dog.

(91)
My darling nephew and Pretty Princess looking on.

(92)
My Older Brother cooked the whole Christmas Eve Lunch.
It was divine.

(93)
Walking to Grandma:  It suits you well, little one.

(94)
My beautiful niece.  

(95)
Christmas Morning JOY.

(96)
Our Special K made these precious ornaments at school
as a gift to Mommy and Daddy.

(97)
A bottle of wine to share with my sweet Hubs after our four-city-tour in 8 days. 

(98)
Building a Gingerbread House with the kiddos.

(99)
Did I tell you we're at the beach??  Can you even tell?  Three days before Christmas, we were gifted with a week at the Outer Banks.  Clearly it's not a balmy 85 degrees on a sunny beach.  Being snowed in at a beautiful, roomy home to share with my precious family is priceless.  We are completely humbled by God's graciousness through Christ and from others.   

(100)
Budding Musicians.  We got to worship together as a family this morning.
These are our two little drummers.

"Come, let us adore Him
He has come down to the world we live in
And all I have to give Him
Is adoration
God is with us here
Our Immanuel
God is with us here
Our Immanuel
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Jesus, our Immanuel
Is with us here and He won't let go."

---from Adoration by the Newsboys ---

(101)
Getting snowed in.  Completely blessed.  And God knows my joys
abundantly exceed 100 on this Joy Journey.

A Journey through 100 Joys.
Check out where it all started:
www.sarahmarkley.com